It’s that time of the year again when Helsinki is the epicentre of the technology universe. Movers and shakers from across the globe descend upon the Finnish capital to do deals and talk tech. Yes, Slush is here and don’t we all know it. For 48 hours, the tech world goes crazy celebrating its own wonderfulness and for a mere 500€ you can join the party too. But, don’t get sucked in by the relentless hype. There are some very good reasons why you shouldn’t bother going at all.
1. It looks as sloppy as it sounds.
2. The people attending are boring. It’s mainly nerdy blokes.
3. The venue is just a warehouse with disco lights.
4. The talks only focus on tech, tech and more tech.
5. Some Business Insider website calls Slush “the center of the tech universe”, but no real media outlets give a damn and neither should you.
6. The start ups are all the same sort of thing. Wacky ideas nobody will ever use and companies you’d never want to work for.
7. And what’s the point of wasting your time when 90% of start ups fail anyway.
8. Slush is all about making money, yet it exploits thousands of unhappy volunteers every year.
9. If you’re not an investor or start up hipster, there’s nothing to do.
10. Plus, Helsinki is soooo boring and dark in November.
11. The parties are just an excuse to swap business cards.
12. So whenever someone says you should shell out for Slush tickets due to the top quality people attending, don’t believe a word they say.
If you know of more reasons why everyone should avoid the best startup event in Europe, we’d love to hear them in the comments section below.
Thomas Nybergh is a Digital Producer and writer for Ink Tank Media. Passionate about user-centred design and culture, he’s spent a decade working at the crossroads of technology and marketing. He can be found sharing his thoughts on both on Twitter